What are the differences between jealousy and envy and can they work in your favor? Both of these are natural emotions, and both come from primal instincts that serve to protect ourselves, our families and our possessions. Small amounts of jealousy can keep a relationship together or inspire actions. Envy can motivate action as well; it can open doors you never saw or were afraid to walk through before. You being honest with yourself is where it begins.
When you start with the truth, you are capable of sensing what emotions are ruling your efforts. What feelings are you showcasing? Ask yourself what is this jealously in me? And what does that person have that I don’t? That makes me feel envious? If you can find a place to answer these questions truthfully, you may be able to use the emotions as information to help you make choices.
When you allow either of the two emotions to consume you, and you react unreasonably instead of consciously, then the emotions can lead to bad results. People who feel inadequate, insecure, or overly dependent tend to be more jealous and envious than others. If you have felt as stated, then you need to seek resources to help you manage your reactions and gain control of your emotions.
Let’s lay out the differences between the two jealousy and envy and keep it quite simple. Jealousy is about loss. It happens when you perceive someone has taken something that you are emotionally attached to or is threatening to do this, you react by feeling hurt and angry. If this person is a friend, the sense of betrayal adds fuel to the wrath.
Envy, on the other hand, is about coveting something you don’t have. The person you envy has what you want. The more unfair you think the situation is, the more you will find ways to demean the person you envy. Instead of working to achieve more, you justify the reasons for staying in an inferior situation. Here are a couple of the questions to ask yourself when you are envious of someone’s success. Why am I not recognized for that? How did they get the breaks and I didn’t? Instead of focusing on what isn’t in your control, can you shift to focusing on what is in your control to change, yourself?
Honesty has to come to the fore here is it possible that the person you envy steps that you either didn’t think of or you avoided? However you view what they did even if it is not up to your standards and you have questions they had the courage to step out into the world in a way that you did not. Embrace your emotions and allow them to teach you what you need to learn.
Envy can open up doors you never saw or were afraid to walk through before seeing your truth. Jealousy can lead you to treasure things and people you might have taken for granted. It will always be your call make it the right one.
Until the next time take good care, be and stay well.
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